- Tell him, @alisonbrie. Tell @dannypudi about @donglover sitting by himself at Shutter Island Friday night. #
- Diet's effects leveling off. Have to exercise to lose more. But I've gone from Fat Jon Favreau to Fat Vince Vaughn! #
- Finishing this rewrite so I can go to Channel 101's February screening at 7:30 at Cinespace. Where I will see you all! #
- Ha! This is GREAT. RT @CaroiAm Community Theme song (Friends Style) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7hR1wi2Vkk #
- Time to take what we in the Milwaukee Public School System used to call a "dookie." #
- I don't have to know what this movie is. I woke up seeing "written by Alan McElroy" and "directed by Kaos," so, I'm in. #
- Oh, it's "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever." #
- My follower number was 7,944. I said I was going to take a dookie, it dropped to 7,943. I want to write a movie about that person. #
- Okay. Help us beat Glee in this ONE arena? http://bit.ly/9GLFms #
- hungry + tired + behind schedule + notes call = bad mood. Have to eat, laugh or sleep before going to Paley Center. Oh! A couch. #
- I'm in a much better mood because I watched a mixdown of the next episode, which we're presenting at PaleyFest tonight! Go there! #
- Tickets to Community at Paley Fest tonight are 25-50 bucks. http://www.ticketweb.com/snl/EventListings.action?pl=paley&orgId=11604 #
- You'll see our next ep. with a ton of fans. Then stay for the Q&A and see the cast do their "what is Chevy saying" grins! #
- Joe Russo picks cool hip music for our third acts, but when I'm writing them, I'm just listening REM's "Everybody Hurts" on a loop. #
- Community Trivia: It takes 95 people to make 1 episode, with jobs ranging from "doing things" (92) to "being concerned" (3) #
- I always thought I'd know how to spell vinaigrette by the time I spilled it on my sweater, but as it turns out, I had to look it up. #
- Raspberry vinaigrette. All down the front of my Paley Fest sweater. And it didn't even TASTE GOOD ON MY SALAD. #MyAfghanistan #
- I had a great time at Paley Fest, which can only mean I'm going to find out I was a presumptuous motormouth asshole. Worth it though! #
- Getting driven home in a sedan, which makes me cool tonight, but which, at 16, made me a virgin. #
- My girlfriend's phone was next to me, thought it was mine, it received a text from me I had sent earlier, had brief existential vertigo #
- Got this Chevy clip on 3/2 from @kuhhh: http://bit.ly/9hcBz0 and on 3/3, Chevy did this bit "with" @kenjeong at Paley Fest. #
- RT @greatjoebivins future self trying to warn you about something? ~ like this? RT @DavidTran Rumor has it you made a 'fisting gesture.' #
- America, you just won a gold medal in Pretending to Care About Winter Sports. Your prize? A NEW COMMUNITY. TONIGHT. 8/7c #
- A compliment, regardless of intent! RT @weinmanj Adjusting for era and format, #Community has become NBC's modern answer to #Night Court. #
- Glad you guys liked tonight's episode, very flattering things you tweeted. #
- We were up against American Idol last night. Not looking forward to these numbers but I hate waiting for them, too. (Meanwhile, in Iran…) #
- Community ratings held steady, defying projections that they would take an olympic/Idol dip. It's a win. Thanks for viewing, viewers! #
- Ah. Words to kill yourself by. RT @yvettenbrown “The only time you should be nervous is if you're useless…and you're not."~Simon Cowell #
- Inspired by my special coaching, @gillianjacobs uses this in her trailer for character motiviation: http://twitpic.com/157o54 #
- RT @buckly What are the lyrics to the Community theme song?~ gimmie a robe/I need to pee/gimmie a coat/we ran out of cream #
- I got some bad news from NBC today. Here's video of me telling the cast: http://yfrog.us/064l2z #
- You know what actually sucks that I just realized? Those guys have to go shoot a scene where everyone cries. I hope they're actors. #
- I want to "thank" the viewers, but, hopefully, the viewing was rewarded, so, I'll say: it'll be an honor to make more of this show for you. #
- One more thing: @donglover isn't shooting today, he always hangs out with those tissues tucked into his shirt collar and nobody knows why. #
- Does anyone have a phone number for Walt Belcher of the Tampa Tribune? #
- No better way to celebrate #community's s2 pickup than watching this video by @CaroiAm http://bit.ly/dhfOWC (it's not the friends theme one) #
- thanks, U2. now if roiland's fox thing goes, we have channel101 hegemony RT @iamromanski Congrats to "Community" on the Season 2 pickup #
- Eugh. #AmateurNight #
- Fruit unsettles me, because it's trees saying, "I don't care what you are. Make yourself useful. Shit some seeds." #
- "And trust me, I got diminished enough on the playground." RT @yvettenbrown “If I diminish you, I diminish myself.”- Desmond Tutu #
- #CoHabitationPerks secondary drawer of "backup silverware!" #
- socialist! RT @Derek_Mears I wish there was a way to regulate paranormal investigators… I can't tell the real ones from the fake ones. #
- I've gleaned his spinach…on to his kryptonite RT @HartHanson http://twitpic.com/14mequ – Sunday afternoon break. Ephemeral contentment! #
- Ha! RT @RobSchrab RT @robhuebel: Counting Crows should have called themselves Eating Dicks #
- I like to think that when I squish an ant, its final thought is, "Good. Being an ant blows." #
- Mom? RT @laurenjhenry i don't think it sees it coming, so it doesn't have time to think anything. and i don't think that they can think… #
- RT @Kuhhh Actual question re: foreign film. "Will we be watching any American films because technically they're foreign in other countries" #
- Really, it would make more sense to call it "skimmed," not "skim." Next time you're naming milk, you might want to call me. #
- I mean…it's clearly skimmed. Name milk much? Hey, skim milk, the Thompson Twins called, they want their name sense-making back. #
- Apparently they call it "skimmed" in the UK. Maybe we should change our country's name to "Americannot properly name milk." #
- Cool. @guentheralex and @underbrown sent this. Skim[med] milk and pop[ped] corn box[ed] set. http://bit.ly/ccEVUS #
- Although Danny Pudi looks very little like Andy Dick, Danny Pudi in a wig looks an awful lot like Andy Dick in a wig. #
- I'm going to devise some system that lets me type while I'm hanging upside down on my inversion table. #
- RT @steveagee Long list of things I wanted to do before turning 41, such as: snap the horn of a unicorn and then use that horn to kill it! #
- article on TV's romance with autism by @televisionary: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-02-24/hollywood-takes-on-autism/ #
- Is Community on next week? I think they're making up weird shit to do in the snow just to mess with me. #
- By the way: zombies vs. plants for iphone. booyah. What's the new booyah? I submit "boop boopy doop." #
- So sad … @donglover at.shutter island sitting by himself. So sad. #
- "more like overkill island." – @erinhill2 #bestgirlfriend #
- Good thing about Hudson Hawk #1: "Captain Bob's steering wheel" bit #
- Good thing about Hudson Hawk #2: "Big Stan." #
- The list has to stop because I'm falling asleep, but it's not Hudson Hawk's fault. #
- RT @douggpound Just posted a blog about Pink Floyd on my Comfotably Numblr. #
- Summer of ants begins early. A battalion pouring out of one of our kitchen light switches. http://twitpic.com/15o8b9 #
- Any of you women that THOUGHT your man did right by you today should know I'm taking Erin to the A.C.E. editing awards, or "Eddies." #
- Getting shit faced at the ACE awards with @kenjeong #
- Greatest party on earth! #
- Quote from @kenjeong's presentation at ACE awards: "I sometimes refer to my dick as final cut pro." ??? #
- ACE awards were great. Old school editor: "I'm sick of fight scenes where you can't tell who's winning until someone's on the floor." #
- RT @robinkelly1 Has Community been sold to the UK yet, sir? ~ Actually, it's been thrown into the Boston Harbor. JUST TO MAKE A POINT. #
- FYI: @annieedisonGCC is the legit Annie. @annieedison got hacked by someone who is, oddly, trying to fulfill the role. #
- my theory: the person who hacked @annieedison is waiting until season 4, so they can say, to 80,000 followers: "psych! come see my band!" #
- oops! RT @daveseger 7:55am on the Today Show will be an original mini 90 sec ep of Community by @TomKauffman @danharmon and me. 7:55am. NBC. #
- We produced 3 Community mini-episodes to be on Today show olympic coverage. don't have details about when and where they air. Sorry. #
- I don't know if they'll be available online. I don't know why @daveseger knew one was on at 7:55. I'm as in the dark as everyone else. #
- RT @Kuhhh I'm gonna go ahead and assume the guy who wrote his ideas in the margins of my used copy of McKee's "Story" never sold his script. #
- I'm about to do a phone interview with an Israeli magazine. I'm hoping they're not going to quiz me on Israeli knowledge. #
- The Q I'm dreading: "why should Israelis watch your show." I wouldn't know for any place, but in this case, not knowing feels anti-semitic. #
- The nice Israeli interviewer did not quiz me on Israel. But I did end each answer with a demure shrug and a "who am I to say?" #
- …which may not have made me seem cool to Israelis, but will definitely score me points in parts of New York I've seen on TV. #
- I dread mornings like these. Time to break it to the writers that Walt Belcher of the Tampa Tribune says the show's in trouble. #
- I'm afraid so. I'm sorry, America (and Brazil and Israel). RT @justinfinnegan Your show's been dealt the infamous "Belcher Blow?" #
- I want to believe Walt Belcher's prediction is uninformed, but the writers just showed me a picture of him wearing glasses shaped like TVs. #
- They said it couldn't be done! RT @dmmch Community is the best sitcom since Cavemen. I mean that sincerely, and it is a compliment. #
- RT @meganganz Because they can never find you when they need you? http://twitpic.com/13n645 #
- progress redefined RT @BarackObama You've now pledged almost 7 million volunteer hours to candidates who fight for health reform. Thank you. #
- Every one of my friends is obsessed with this guy. Count me in. Many questions. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKGR6ixxC0w #
- I don't miss the budget or ratings, but I miss the fun and freedom. "My Black Friend," 2006: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZJPtmI8W6s #
- Sarah Silverman Program is awesome this season!! Watch it, dipshit! #
- MonsterQuest on HistoryHD is amazing this season! Watch it, stupid! #
- MonsterQuest is SO close to finding proof of Mothman it's CRAZY. #
- Had I only realized 8 years ago that "now do it without paying the Friar's Club" was what networks considered a "pitch." #
- I Have Registered The Following Titles for Paranormal Activity Spoofs – If you have used any of these, you… http://tumblr.com/xe26jzaiz #
- Second sighting of gay character from Glee, right in front of my car. Right in front of it. But I won't do it. I won't win LIKE THAT. #
- Every character on our show could carry a show. I'd like to see them try one episode without that gay kid is all I'm saying. #
- They said it was crazy there.RT @fatkidchuckles saw Danny, Donald, and Joe Russo in NewOrleans and slobbered about how much I love the show. #
- John Oliver is in the hizzle today. For which episode? For which episode? Wouldn't you like to know. #
- NBC #1 in the ratings. I think we know why. People looking for Community and settling for Olympics coverage. #
- Finished another pass on the finale. Sleepy. Going home to my woman. #
- Last night, the writers had a chance to ask the network the big question: "Which of you is talking to the Tampa Tribune's Walt Belcher." #
- They pretended they'd never heard of him. I bluffed: "Nice try, we know you gave him glasses shaped like little TVs." Silence. Uh-busted. #
- If we do a DVD, I hope we can include long edits of episodes. I had to cut more bits this season than Lorena Bobbitt in a 17 year old joke! #
- That Lorena Bobbit reference was intentionally hack, but plunged me into an unintentional awareness of how long I've been alive. #
- Unwittingly horror-themed lettering http://yfrog.com/1eodmhtj #
- There's an episode being outlined down the hall by TWO WOMEN, bucka bucka wow wow (harass-massa-mow wow) #
- via @erinhill2 comes word that Tarantino bought the New Beverly to keep it from closing down. No way to spin that negatively. It's nice. #
- RT @Jallen00 twitpic available? ~ yes but can you take it? Karey and Emily in total girl/girl outline action http://yfrog.com/2embvjj #
- Uh oh! Who's THIS dropping by to lend a hand? Bucka bucka wow wow! http://yfrog.com/1d19572998j #
- Just watched rehearsal for the finale episode. Holy stromboli. So excited and proud. #
- just shooting early. 9 eps left for you. RT @TheSteamer When it's air? May? Or you one of the ones with the awful early end dates? #
- RT @DonGlover Just saw one of the kids from "The Wire" walking his dog in Hollywood. My immediate reaction: "Yes! He made it out!" #
- When you charge your iPhone with someone's laptop, it should play a sample of Daniel Day Lewis saying "I drink your milkshake." #
- True. RT @bart_smith Anytime anything does something, it should play a sample of Daniel Day Lewis saying "I drink your milkshake." #
- Dragon Age #
- Wow. Twitbird is my new favorite iphone Twitter app. #nowplaying Against All Odds ♪ Phil Collins #
- "I'm going to take a shower, don't look. I mean, you can look, but don't….scrutinize." #BestGirlfriend #
- "If you are 37 yr old, live in CA and love video games…" thanks for the reality check, artificially intelligent Facebook ad. #
- No official news is unofficial good news in our situation. I'm perky. RT @TheTrekspert Any news on a second season of #community yet? #
- … not "tell your friends to wait for the season 1 DVD" confident. More "tell your friends to watch the show NOW" confident. #
- This girl in "Labyrinth" is really nuts. #
- Labyrinth girl's arc is that in the first act, her mind goblins kill babies, but by the end, she can party with them. #
- Remember 2009 when I did this: http://www.twitvid.com/C1CF5 and then a lady's baby did this: http://www.twitvid.com/A0F40 #
- I felt like Bowie seemed "nervous" in Labyrinth. Esp. In the up tempo "babe" song. Like he was thinking "I hope I'm doing this right." #
- This is an important question, because of the answer: YES. RT @denzquix Is Star Burns related to Ken Burns? #
- Chevy, as I walk away from a conversation: "I wonder what it's like to be fat AND gay?" #
- Why am I sitting in this office like a chump. I can write just as slowly and almost as badly in pajamas. #
- Well, it happened. Just walked in on my girlfriend watching Modern Family. #
- I'd start phoning it in if it weren't for the fear that nobody would know the difference. #
- John Mayer says black people like him. Great. Now what am I supposed to do with my life? Plant the SECOND flag on Everest? #
- I bet I could get black people to like me more than John Mayer by promising to never say "black people like me." #
- RT @mamaxwolf Latinos like you ~ dude, I wish. I'd break up with black people in a SECOND. Playing their damn John Mayer music all night.. #
- YES!! THANK YOU!! I promise I will never brag about this. I will respect you and listen to you. THANKS! RT @AwesomeBEA Done. New fav. #
- All of NBC's comedies do Valentine's Day tonight. Curl up with a lover or pet for "Must See VD" starting with COMMUNITY 8/7! #
- RT @mindykaling I wrote tonight's Office episode…probably my favorite. Kathy Bates stars, Marc Webb directed. Puns, visual gags, mix-ups. #
- That's an order, guys! RT @BarackObama want to fight for health reform on Valentines? Join NBC for "Must See VD" tonight. #
- My own FLESH AND BLOOD. RT @bonesharmon Oh for crap sakes did I set the DVR to record Mentalist and not Community again? #
- RT @rainnwilson Great stuff! RT @nerdist I enjoy @kellyoxford's tweets so much, I asked her to guest blog on nerdist.com–>http://afx.cc/cuq #
- west syyyyyde: Community Valentine's episode kicks off an evening sizzling with VD action on NBC in 16 minutes. #
- I am definitely down @donglover @hoodinternet #
- Tell that to Jazzy Jeff RT @yvettenbrown "U can tell how far yr LIFE & CAREER will go by the 5 ppl you spend the most time with."-Will Smith #
- To the Old Man That Shakes His Head at Cars He Feels Are Going Too Fast on Our Street – Hello, old man. It’s… http://tumblr.com/xe26eu7l4 #
- On Monday, your story needs warmth or depth. On Wednesday, it needs to mention Burger King's new Bling Bling Bacon Buster. #
- Good lord, FINALLY. RT @avclub iPhone Explorer, gives you access to your iPhone/iPod Touch files. Nice. http://bit.ly/62KfQ #
- Just now noticed I wasn't following @harthanson. I thought you just didn't tweet much. Also, stop trying to out-adorable my pic #
- Rifling through @harthanson's tweets so I can learn to defeat him. Hmm. I see he has a "cabin." AND NOW, SO SHALL I. #
- I can't get a cabin. I'm scared of spiders. Oh. That's why @harthanson has one. Luthor, lining his lair with kryptonite. #
- Bruce Willis Surrogates Theme Lyrics – Bruce Willis Surrogates (gonna get ya) Comin’ from the end of time… http://tumblr.com/xe26fcoy1 #
- RT @occono Any things you've wanted to be able to do on the show and couldn't? ~ I've always dreamed of teaching Chevy tact. #
- Maybe not the 7th, but definitely a seal. RT @lynchland I am now following Taylor Swift on twitter. #
- Every one is special, but, in my view, this next episode goes in a drawer next to halloween and xmas. It's a little gem. I think. Enjoy. #
- When you pull the lever on a TNT Law and Order rerun, there's six ways to win, but a jackpot has to have an Orbach. #
- I can't force the rest of Community to wish you a happy 20th, @S_Tenuta, but maybe if I do it, peer pressure will take over. HAPPY BIRTHDAY #
- I guess I meant the episode AFTER this next one is one of my super favorites. Which is not to say next one is at all shabby. #
- I have to get this damn beard off my face. #
- Ha, "a throne of lies!" RT @kenjeong Ken talks about his favorite "Idol" visiting Community http://bit.ly/9DpZLg #
- Community Trivia: the episode we're shooting this week has a measurable chance of getting me fired, and is totally worth it. #
- Community Trivia: This is the 2nd longest job I've had. If we go to season 2, it may beat my 1st longest, washing dishes at a psych ward. #
- Community Trivia: @kenjeong is half Korean, one quarter Chinese, and ten percent Apache, can sense fear and detect precious metals. #
- 6% Scientologist 4% Orthodox Jew 5% Common Housefly RT @laurenjhenry what is the remaining 15% of Ken Jeong made up of? #
- Community Trivia: as the world's only known arachniphobicoprophile, @alisonbrie loves the poop of people startled by spiders. #
- Community Trivia: @Yvettenbrown has no memory before 2002, when she awoke on a table in an abandoned military lab. She eats copper. #
- Community Trivia: @donglover, the only son of Danny Glover, played the child who offers candy to the Predator in Predator 2. #
- Community Trivia: Chevy Chase speaks 19 languages and, as a licensed psychologist, often mediates the constant conflicts between the cast. #
- Community Trivia: @joelmchale, while on a USO tour, foiled a Taliban-sponsored plot to destroy Mount Rushmore. He's also a hermaphrodite. #
- Community Trivia: Danny Pudi had a party, everyone was there. Danny Pudi made a pooty, everyone went out for air. #
- Watching test footage taken with a Phantom. Everything looks cool at a thousand frames per second. #
- Skip to the red jello for the best part: RT @killahmcgillah some images are 2500FPS. nuts: http://vimeo.com/4167288 #
- So now I'm informed that the episode airing Thursday *IS* the one that I was calling one of my super favorites. Hulu/TV Guide misfire. #
- I don't mean Hulu or TV Guide made a mistake, I just mean they had the wrong information about the episode that's next. It's not pottery. #
- Sarah Silverman Program S3 starts tomorrow. I dare you to watch the trailer and not be excited. http://sarahblog.comedycentral.com/ #
- You can watch my favorite new Community, then all the NBC shows, then flip to Sarah. Leno won't mind. He's a survivor. #
- Erin told me yesterday that British people don't get why we say "you're welcome" after "thank you." I guess it's not like we get it either. #
- You can always tell when I'm hung up on a joke because there's a burst of tweets where I answer questions about comedy writing. #
- Thought I'd "save energy" by keeping wallet in back pocket during drive to work. But I need my wallet to get on lot! #lowstakestwilightzone #
- New York Magazine's Vulture Blog takes a break from "devouring" Community to interview its photogenic creator: http://tiny.cc/zP4j5 #
- This ep. Isn't "the one that could get me fired," that's the one we're shooting. Tonight's is just a good episode, not over budget. #
- Yes! The best. RT @yvettenbrown "I did eat all the macaroni. It's messed up that he knows."~Jeff #Community #
- Team Leonard FTW #
- #FF @Derek_Mears IS the Kickpuncher. #
- If you didn't watch last night's season premiere of The Sarah Silverman Program, you should listen more closely to your baby penis. #
- I don't mind being a Megatron, but does every single person in the world have to be a Starscream? Can I get a fucking Soundwave in here? #
- Uh oh. Nobody tell him. RT @tomclarkcomedy Watching Mitch Hedberg do comedy makes me happy. #
- They photoshopped hands with badges and guns on the "Cop Out" poster so we know it's not about two regular guys copping out. #
- This celebrity rehab show could use a little more of something…and it sure ain't rehab! #
- I think you guys were all very manly this week, be proud. RT @DonGlover @alisonbrie you're such a pussy. #
- People holding mics in their Facebook photos are saying "I'm a comedian," then adding, "and I admit that's not apparent." #
- RT AngelAmyRF doing a 10K for Patrick Dempsey's cancer center http://bit.ly/bRIJkK need donations #
- Finally got to see 30 Rock this morning. Liz Lemon's pizza-ordering voice made me pee. Still haven't seen Office or P&R #
- I bet the people that write that beautiful Jeff/Annie fan fiction wish the show wasn't created by a guy that tweets "hi, I'm taking a shit." #
- Watching dark crystal..come to
the castle. No, We have to get to the castle. #
- Erin left for work, I took out the garbage and locked myself out of the house. It's 5:40 AM. Who suffers? @daveseger, that's who #
- This is not an exciting video I just felt the moment should be documented. http://yfrog.us/5en2gz #
- You know what you can do to an assistant? You can just send him out for Mass Effect 2. I think it's allowed. He's a "personal" assistant. #
- I hate myself for loving this. RT @RobGeorge @morgan_murphy Guess it all depends on how you were reared. #
- RT @morgan_murphy its "The Flintstones" not "The Flinstones". What else have I been getting wrong?~ monster's actual name not "Frankenberry" #
- I let the air out of every tire on NCIS: LA's golf carts and they never traced it back to me, so I guess THEY'RE NOT SO GREAT AFTER ALL. #
- Hey, everyone that's confused by #thoughtsonthetoilet as a trending topic: Welcome to being me for the last 70 trending topics. #
- …and welcome to the level of confusion I experience every minute of every day about almost everything everyone else does and says. #
- I just came up with the idea of calling Twitter's universe the "Twitter Verse." what does everyone think? #
- I'm walking in a hallway (showing writers how to use Twitter) #
- My dialogue: "Jeff is uncharacteristically right about this." Shooting right now: "Jeff is bizzarely right about this." Good…save…? #
- Irony key from yesterday: I know the word "twitterverse" exists and "bizarrely" made the line 40 percent weaker than "uncharacteristically." #
- We killed two black widows last night…Erin said "what if they had babies," I'm like, "they're widows." #SaveItForTheShowBuddy #
- I can't believe I wasted 37 years not eating apple slices with peanut butter on them. #
- I actually just "approved" some T-shirts 2 days ago. But pitch NBC, not me! RT @goodie2sleeves [inquiring about Community merch]. #
- Starship's mainstream ambition ultimately watered down "We Built This City on Rock and Roll (and This Country on Slavery)." #
- I just flipped my cat the middle finger and she bounded across the bed and attacked it. They know what it means, guys. #
- Other formerly potent songs truncated by labels include C&C Music Factory's "I Got the Power (From Dead Native Americans)" #
- Thank you for the corrections. I confused C&C and Snap. C&C did "Everybody Dance Now (on the Grave of the Indigenous)". #
- French Sona?! http://yfrog.us/171w8z #
- I think it's important to party a lot when you're young, just so that when you're old, the "good old days" aren't THAT great. #
- Wait, quick rewrite: DRINK when you're young so that when you're old, the good old days are just kind of fuzzy. "party" sounded too fun. #
- Weird. I know I'm watching Ghost Rider because there's a demon skull where Cage's head should be, but why is he in Bangkok? #
- Oh, it's Bangkok Dangerous. #
- Bangkok seems especially dangerous if you're a really sloppy hitman. #
- MLK: "A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan." Amen. #
- There's too many great quotes by MLK. Just reading them now. He was both feet in, pro-human, anti-system. Subversive the way it counts. #
- "Holy shit, did you hear that thunder clap" doesn't work as well in the information age. You didn't hear it. You're in Dallas and Canada. #
- Two movies I can't stop watching if they're on: Goodfellas and Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. Kiss my fucking bender, dude. #
- If you're working on Stephen King's Dreamcatcher, in any capacity, how do you know when you're finished? #
- Forget writing it…imagine even being the stunt coordinator on Dreamcatcher. You'd be like "what is the goal of this stunt? Clarity?" #
- Did they have a preproduction meeting for Dreamcatcher? Did someone say, "guys, when we do this, let's really knock it out of the park?" #
- They projected low ratings tonight. Let's give em something to project right up their butts. Watch Community with me, west syde! 6 mins! #
- Absolutely correct, he did Muschitz him a little bit. RT @RobSchrab @danharmon Pierce Muschitzed Jeff! #
- DIRECT @joelmchale Vanity Fair leaked that you're replacing jay. Airing the car crash finale a week early. Good luck! #
- Oh, crap. Oh, CRAP. Did that go public?! Oh, no. #
- Oh! AV Club says it wasn't the strongest episode. That must mean…YES! EW.com's John Young says it was the STRONGEST EPISODE! I DID IT! #
- I was going to leave an hour ago. Downloaded one song for the drive, thought I'd do a "quick sync" of my iphone. Oh, grandpa. #
- This is the worst. I can't just unplug the thing, either. The backup took an hour. Now it's syncing 1200 songs. #IranThinksItHasProblems #
- I guess I could spend the time taking a new avatar picture. #
- 400 songs left. Oh, man, I can get cuter than that. #
- 1 hour and 48 minutes until I get to eat 9 soy crisps. I am going to be so fucking hot. #
- to @cyclopticcake and others re: music, when you hear a "needle drop" you like in community, it's usually if not always Joe Russo at work. in reply to cyclopticcake #
- If Superman was a true bad ass, he'd force himself to rely solely on that one power to peel his logo off his chest and throw it on people. #
- If I were Superman, I'd go to Batman and say, "Bring everything you got. I won't even fly. I'll use my logo peeling power, that's it." #
- It would be horrible if Superman had been raised by bees. Or hornets. Hornets wouldn't even have taught him restraint, let alone humility. #
- I'm coming to set today AND I TOOK A SHOWER! Less awkward hugs than ever! #
- I'm feeling dangerously content, even joyful, today. Better go take a quick spin through the comments section at tvbythenumbers.com #
- Dan Harmon's new book, "Agreeing with Dan Harmon: A Strategy for Success," is available for free by agreeing with him. #
- RT @Channel101 Series premiere of Blue Montain State, created by Eric Falconer and Chris Romano, at 10/9 central on Spike! #
- New diet hinges on my management of bagged meals I'm handed in the morning. Shrimp dinner on my desk since 9. Losing weight already. #
- Nobody wants to move Community from Thursday at 8 to 8:01, but if they did, I'd QUIT, so if you like bad asses, tune in! #
- RT @michaelianblack RT @Randazzoj: Text "Haiti" to 90999 and $10 will go to the Red Cross from your phone bill. http://www.state.gov/ #
- Erin found a girl mad that everyone's helping Haiti NOW. She was helping them back when they were just starving! #FeltSameAboutThePixies #
- She refers to the "bangwagan" effect and likes Cinammon Toast Crunch and NCIS. Erin observes she is the real life Andy Samberg character. #
- Does Pat Robertson do "cold cases?" I've had this hunch that the crew of the Challenger shuttle deserved to explode. #
- Jack Black guest stars on Community tomorrow at 8. That's a pretty straightforward tweet, so I farted while typing it. #
- yay for ratings! yay for being sick! yay for Borderlands! #
- The "geek squad" is mounting our TV. I guess I can't get mad that they're rude and clumsy. I specifically paid for geeks. #
- The "geeks" asked if I wanted them to "hide the wires," and I said, "sure," and ten minutes later, I heard sawing. House is rented. Geeky. #
- The commenters at tvbythenumbers.com often seem bewildered and frustrated by TV's refusal to be by the numbers. #
- Bells and whistles aside, life is a progression from "this better not be a zit" to "this better be a zit." #
- The geek squad guys have to wear those disposable booties over their shoes. Or maybe they want to. Are they going to kill me? #
- Stir crazy. Can't go anywhere, first day off since the show started. I'll do some @replies over a dinky salad, but won't RT, it bugs folk #
- To the people who wanted to know: yes, Buddy's "I'm strong and I can kick" was a reference to Crispin Glover – not required reading, though. #
- Geek squad guy keeps asking for things that are in the same drawer as my giant bag of you-know-what. And keeps seeing my PS3 "porn tests." #
- Finally listening to some Childish Gambino by @donglover. Awesome. #
- Thanks for the birthday well wishings, everybody! I'm 37. Don't let it happen to you. #
- I'm not hiding in the men's room. It's tough to break stories at midnight but it really is also a tough shit. #
- Those Glee pussies are on our lot again. #
- 2 yrs = paperback, 5 yrs = shitty movie w/ shot of you as cabbie RT @kelsyabbott Don't put your dick in my wallet and tell me its a bus pass #
- I just heard the missing black widow in my garage yell, in a thick accent, "next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate." #
- Little known campaign slogan of the guy that ran against Eisenhower: "Okay, I didn't win World War II. Big fucking deal." #
- visiting parents in Florida, where stores have less brandy than cashiers named Brandy. #
- Yes, I'm out of town. So you can finally pull off that heist you've been putting off for when I wouldn't be there to… karate chop you. #
- #whywouldyou build a new death star with the same plans as the one that got blown up? #cmonson! (desegregating hash tags) #
- #iloveitwhen my sail boat goes fast. #ifiseeonemore sail boat, I will buy it with a credit card. (gentrifying hash tags) #
- #iamalwaysdownwith relaxed handgun legislation. #youknowyoutrippin when you dis the second amendment (monetizing hash tags) #
- After 2 days of struggle, my parents surrender to the static filled picture-in-picture on their TV. "It eventually went away last time." #
- everyone's favorite episode of Community (halloween) is on NBC right now, ESTers. #
- I am enjoying your enjoyment of the #community marathon while my parents enjoy a recording of Law and Order: SVU. #
- in their defense, they insisted on watching 2 episodes with me last night on their DVR. It'd be funnier if they were less supportive. #
- yeah, sorry if I got the time zone shit wrong…I'm in Florida and the halloween ep. was starting here…who knows. You're on your OWN! #
- My parents, who are both just as fat as me, and who don't have jobs, won't stop counseling me about my weight and finances. #
- Unwisely used the word "tchotchke" in routine ribbing of mom for her bricabrac before realizing it was a fancy city word. 2 days of guilt. #
- I wasn't skirting the yiddish factor; neither my mom nor I would know the difference, the point is, I accidentally sounded alien and judgy. #
- Ordered "pesto" in front of her in '97 and she brings it up in 2009. Like I joined Her Majesty's Secret Fucking Service for eating Pesto. #
- I drive under 2 hrs a day by walking on water RT @douggpound I guess this company's demographic is 'murderer'? http://yfrog.com/3lpicture74p #
- Good morning. I made up with my mother. It helps that I'm leaving. And that it's @alisonbrie 's birthday! She's a Christ figure to me. #
- Shot and cut this with iPhone. App is cool but needs to let you set in point at playhead. http://yfrog.us/j9yb1z #
- Watching Hurt Locker.. wow #
- You ever see those wall phone jacks with the spring loaded covers over them? What freak accident precipitated that safety measure? #
- If a kid sticks his tongue in a phone jack, is there a chance the conductivity of his saliva will trigger a phantom call to China? #
- Both grandpas WWII marines. One ran a machine gun onto Guadalcanal, the other never said what island he was on. http://yfrog.com/3nd92hj #
- In order to carry their flag, I dropped out of college and joined an improv troupe. Take that, Japan. http://yfrog.com/aukl5hj #
- When you translate, you make a confusion of W and 7 #